When I first started creating things with string and macrame, I was so very passionate about what I was doing. I sold some things - not many things, but I didn’t care. I had ideas that I wanted to make real in the physical world; ideas like jewelry pieces I thought would be pretty, ideas on how to share this passion with other people, and ideas about tool inventions I wanted to bring to fruition.
All of that lasted a long time - several years - but in September of 2020 my life changed forever. I came to question everything about what the heck I was doing. Why was I doing this? Why wasn’t I doing something else? Does it really matter what I do in the end?
You see, on September 14, 2020, my son, Gannon, died at the age of 36. He was my only child. Here is his obituary:
After this terrible loss, I didn't care about anything, and in many ways I still don't care about much. I care about relationships with people I love. To me, that is the most important thing in life. I can see that so very clearly now. This year it will be 5 years since losing Gannon, which some people might think is a long time (some people might even say "enough" time), but my time without Gannon, and missing my Gannon, will never end.
So it is that this passion I once had for macrame is gone. Over these last five years I thought it might return, but it hasn't. Sure, I still love it and think it is pretty, but I can't find the excitement to continue doing it. In fact, during this time I've often thought of how I wish I would have been spending time with Gannon rather than spending time with macrame.
I'm writing this in remembrance of my son and in solidarity with other bereaved parents. Losing a child is the worst thing in the world. I just hope that some beauty can still be found for me and, if you like what you see on these pages, for you. I never really was able to answer the question of "Why am I dong this?" But now what I want to do is share my story, and, if it matters at all, to share my attempts at creating beauty. It does my heart good to think that anyone might get pleasure from having something from "Interlace Designs."
If you have questions or thoughts you'd like to share, please contact me or you can comment below. It is always nice to hear from you.
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